Tanpola Articles Directory

Are your kids after school activities taking over your life? There is no substitute for extracurricular activities when it comes to building independence and confidence in children. But lately, these activities and sports have taken on a new dimension. Instead of joining for fun, specializing and competition has become the norm. However, parents find it hard to resist the pull because so many of the children do participate and they don’t want their own children to be left out or left behind.

As long as the kids are having fun - sports are healthy for them. The strain on an already busy schedule is not.

Here are some parenting tips to help eliminate stress in over scheduled families.

First, it is up to the parent to decide how much time a child has available for afterschool activities. Cost is also a factor and the parent needs to work that into the family budget up front. If you are always rushing to get somewhere, or the sport proves to be too expensive then stress will only mount.

Carpooling is key. Especially considering skyrocketing gas prices. Sharing rides will save time and money. So, why not?

Don’t double book activities. Even if practices are back to back, it is best to schedule only one activity on an afternoon. If there is an inevitable conflict then be choosy. Decide to switch off between weeks (i.e.: this week baseball practice, next week soccer, and so forth). Remember that kids get tired and burdening them with such a busy schedule is not healthy.

Grades are important! Make school and homework come first. If the report card is headed south you know that the busy schedule is taking a toll and it is time to ease up.

Sticking to a commitment to a sport or activity is important but skipping one or two practices is ok if your child is tired. As long as it doesn’t become a habit, flexibility will go a long way.

Make sure your time is their time. If the afternoon promises to be hectic, try not to add your own activities, errands, or schedule to the mix. Devote your attention to your children. They will appreciate this.

Balance out busy days with slow days. Make sure that there is downtime built into the week.

And finally, enough rest makes for a happier family. Make sure all of you are catching adequate z’s.

Read more about managing at my site Parenting Tips at NeenMachine.com. http://neenmachine.com

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day is explained in classrooms, to our children and grandchildren, in simplistic terms. Just this past week, I was surprised to listen to local children’s views on the subject. They explained discrimination with such acceptance that I just listened in amazement.

As children growing up, when Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., was leading civil rights marches, many of us barely knew what was going on. We understood part of the civil rights message; but in those days, many of us had two or three local televisions stations, and we played outside most of the time. We had less access to information, but our childhoods were much better than the present generation of children.

Truthfully, our children and grandchildren see so many violent video games, violent movies, violent cartoons, and low content reality TV shows, that the thoughts of racism, discrimination, and intolerance are acceptable. However, it is reality that every race or religion will try to dominate another. We have worked together to improve, but we still have a long way to go, and we have gone too far in some of the wrong directions.

When the civil rights marches went through the country’s towns and cities, they had a clear agenda of equality. However, the right to have civil liberties has gone in some directions that need to be “brought back to center.” We need to have a purpose, and common sense morality is such a purpose. Otherwise, we face moral bankruptcy, destruction of the family unit, and a social collapse from within.

We do not have to be tolerant of decadent moral standards. As Americans, we often think about the enemies from outside who would destroy our free society. Yet, the problems are also from within, and we must work together to improve our society. Here are some examples of the way civil liberties have been turned on their head.

Who wants to be a school teacher? School teachers are quitting their jobs left and right because children are not corrected at home. Sorry for the honesty, but it is true. The public then insists that teachers are not doing their jobs. The average salary for teaching undisciplined children in a “war zone” doesn’t justify the agony. Anyone who believes teaching is an easy job, should get involved. School systems, across the United States, need all the help they can get.

Common sense has gone out the window when it comes to disciplining children. How often do you see a child disrupt a public setting, while the parent begs or bribes for a little silence?

Take control of children by shutting the Xbox, Play Station, television, and music off. If you want to send them to their room, take all the toys away. “Stick to your guns,” and don’t back down if you are right. Your children will be better for it, and they will grow up as balanced adults because of your courage “to stand up and be counted.”

Take control of how your children dress. Parents and schools need to work together on this and many more issues. Sorry - they are still children and need to know right from wrong.

Music, containing profanity, should be cast out. Let’s use a little common sense. This is an abuse of the freedom of speech. This is not what our Founding Fathers fought for or what the Southern Christian Leadership Conference worked so hard for.

It is our right not have to listen to “trash talking” inciting violence, and disrespect, at a high decibel level. Motorists who play music for the surrounding few blocks should be rewarded with fines. If you want to listen to it, please get a set of headphones, and the rest of us won’t mind.

We are now the largest producers of “No Content Movies” in the world. These movies contain amazingly expensive special effects, nonsensical graphic violence, profanity, and nudity. This is an insult to your intelligence, and this is all the movie producers think we can comprehend. On top of that, it is inconsiderate to make these movies available for children.

Television shows that display similar “no content programs” should be boycotted. With over 100 television stations on cable, and satellite networks, much of what is aired for prime time television has no content. Again, this is an insult to your intelligence

When a child or parent doesn’t want to take part in the Pledge of Allegiance, this is not a problem. Please leave the United States and find another country that will accept disrespect as part of your civil rights.

Don’t be afraid to talk about God or religious holidays. Please always be considerate of others, but love of God is nothing to be ashamed of. There are groups who work to have the words “In God we Trust” removed from our currency. Do not justify their position. This is not tolerance; our country was founded by people who believed in God, and there is nothing wrong with that.

We have become side tracked by what is politically correct. The purpose of the civil rights marches, in the 1960’s, were to improve civil rights for the best.
Always remember that the Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr. was a moral man of vision and tolerance. He was also a man who had basic common sense and an extreme sense of duty that he knew could cost his life. In a different time, he could have been a great President.

The beginning of the year is a great time to think about your life and changes and resolutions that you feel you should be making in the New Year! It is also a great time to think about your household employees, nanny, or housekeeper and what changes can be made so that your family is well cared for and your house is running smoothly.

Very often employers overlook providing their household employee review sessions to discuss problems and ways of making improvements. If you do not consider doing this from time to time, there may be some things that are disappointing to you that will never get resolved. Your employee may also have some issues that need to be discussed but are not brought out for fear that this may prompt you to fire them. The intention here is to discuss openly all the issues and make the necessary changes so that everyone is on the right foot.

So let’s begin with some questions that you can first pose to yourself and then decide if these are relevant to your household situation and employee(s).

*Is there a problem with your nanny or housekeeper getting to work on time and being reliable? Is he/she sometimes coming late for 5 minutes on a regular basis -and is it becoming such a habit that there no longer seems to be a set schedule?

*Is everything getting done in the house as is required? Are there any duties that the housekeeper or nanny is slacking off on? Perhaps because you have never noted this in the past, these duties have now been entirely eliminated.

*Is there anything that just isn’t being done to your satisfaction? Perhaps now would be an excellent time to break old habits and start fresh with a new approach to completing a task.

*Is there an attitude problem that seems to never go away? Maybe when you tell your nanny or housekeeper how to do something, there is a bit of resentment making it difficult for you to approach them. Are you walking on egg shells around your employee?

*Have you established what vacation time, holidays, sick and personal days that you are willing to provide this year? You wouldn’t want anyone assuming something that you either are not willing to provide. You also may want to add something this year as a perk to show your appreciation for your employee’s loyalty and good performance. Either case, these are important issues to have established in the beginning of the New Year.

*Are there any changes that your child is undergoing that should be discussed with your nanny regarding development and education for your child? What kinds of things should your child be exposed to this year

*This is also a good time to go over a child’s new schedule for school and activities. Perhaps, there will be more driving needed and more time devoted to the children then other household activities. Or the reverse: perhaps the children are now going to be in school full time which would mean that there will be more time devoted to other household chores.

*Do you have any vacations coming up that you want to discuss with your nanny or housekeeper where you might need them to stay extra time, weekends or even go away with you? It is always best to give as much advance notice on these matters. You would also want to know when your employee plans to take vacation time so that you can incorporate this into your own schedule and get the necessary back-up for when he/she leaves.

*Overall, is there anything that happened in the last year that bothered you but that you elected to overlook because you just didn’t want to get into it at the time? Why not bring up anything that might be festering and clear the air so that 1) you feel better about it and 2) you have made your employee aware that this is something that you do not want repeated.
Certainly, if you dig deep, you are bound to find one of these abovementioned issues that could be discussed to facilitate a more positive working environment for everyone.

Putting things on paper in an agreement is always useful. Putting together a household manual is the best way to be sure that all your demands and everything you have discussed with your nanny or housekeeper is clearly stipulated so there are no miscommunications.

Marta Perrone, author “Help! How to Find Hire Train and Maintain Household Help!”
Free report: “Top 10 Mistakes Household Employers Make When Recruiting Help.
http://www.domesticpublications.com - http://domestic-connections.com - http://martaperrone.com

Everyone knows that having everything in the world does not lead to happiness. There is something more than material things that is needed to make people happy. It’s imagination. Imagination can turn even the most mundane things into something to be celebrated, and is something that every parent should try and instill in their child at an early age.
There are many ways to do this, but one of the most important and easiest is to draw out your child’s creativity by asking them to fashion roles for themselves. How do you do that? Well, you could always suggest that they do what kids love to do anyway, such as play dress up!

Dressing up offers even more benefits than you might think. It promotes the activity of the brain, in requiring your children to think about who they want to be, what that person or thing wears, and how they can make a costume that is something like it. But it also requires a large amount of physical creativity as well. If, for instance, your child wants to be Shaq, he or she will not be sitting on the couch. They will be bounding around the house or yard, exercising healthily in mind and spirit.

Playing dress up also encourages empathy. By taking on the roles of other people and things, your child will have to think like those other people and things. This encourages them to think as if they were not the center of the universe, and promotes an ability that will greatly serve them later in life, the ability to see the world through other people’s eyes. What’s more, it will allow children to function a bit better than they might otherwise. By playing a teacher, your child might more properly understand what is required of them in a classroom, or how to better relate to adults.

The way that a child plays out roles during dress up can be invaluable for parents. A parent who pays keen attention to the way his or her child is acting out their dress up character can learn a great deal about how their child understands the world. If, for instance, to use the teacher example above, a child always enacts a teacher who is cruel and unfeeling, it might be the case that the child’s teachers are not all too kind to the child, and perhaps a parent’s intervention is necessary.

Dressing up also provides the necessity of innovation. Since children can become quickly tired of things that become too routine, it will be required of them to invent more and further ways of dress up. This will increase their creative ability and make them more innovative thinkers.

Gregg Hall is an author living in Navarre Beach Florida. Find more about this as well as kid’s music CD at http://www.personalizedcds4kids.com

Buying as good pair of shoes for your baby or toddler can be a difficult business, and also an expensive one. Trying to squeeze your fractious child’s foot into yet another pair of shoes whilst listening attentively to the assistant explaining the virtues of this particular brand, style and shape can become a monumental task and one liable to cause you to lose your nerve very easily. When faced with the astronomical cost of shoes for toddlers it can seem tempting to purchase cheaper alternatives. Certainly supermarkets offer a wide choice of children’s clothing lines, including shoes, and for a very good price.

However, the problem is that shoes for toddlers are of paramount importance. Two things will be happening to your toddler at the same stage that they need shoes. The first is that they are learning to stand, walk and run, all of which require good balance, control, grip and confidence of movement. The second thing is that their bones, muscles and joints will all be growing, developing, strengthening and prone to being easily misshaped or damaged if the wrong type of shoe is worn. Cheap shoes offer little support, and it can lead to the child developing bad posture, or even weakened or distorted joints, including bow leggedness.

As far as children’s shoes are concerned, particularly in the early formative years, it is well worth spending the extra money on a really good quality pair of shoes. Not only will they provide much greater support and encourage good posture and walking technique, but they are far more likely to last.

Cheaper shoes tend to have glued seams, whereas more expensive shoes are sewn. Seams on shoes that are sewn are very much stronger than glued ones, and with the rough treatment likely to be encountered on a toddler’s feet, durability is important.

Another aspect to consider is how the shoes will be done up. Laces look classic, and are harder for the child to undo themselves, especially if they are tied in a double knot. The laces can also be used to pull the sides of the shoe together evenly, and creates a better chance of the shoe remaining on the foot. Velcro on the other hand is much quicker and easier to do up and undo. However, your child will quickly realise this themselves, and along with the incredibly satisfying ripping sound they discover they can make with it, they’ll be undoing their shoe faster than you can put it back on their feet, and this can lead to all sorts of problems.

The style and pattern of the sole of the shoe will be important too. Having a good tread will help enormously in providing s good grip, especially when they try their hand (or foot) at mountaineering, wanting to climb up every step, get up on to every object they can and generally try getting everywhere. A deep, reliable tread will help them to gain their balance and learn to trust their judgement more when walking and running.

If in any doubt, use two critics when buying your toddler shoes. Use the trained professional who will help you choose shoes which are appropriate, supportive and the right size. But make sure you listen to your toddler too. If all they want to do is sit, or take their shoes off, then maybe another choice might be worth a look.

Victor Epand is an expert consultant about luggage, cruises, hotels, and shopping. You will find the best marketplace for luggage, cruises, hotels, and shopping at these sites: http://www.bags-luggage.info , http://www.hotels-cruises.info , and http://www.krishnadesign.com

If I could give advice to single mums regarding raising their kids I would say this:

Give your kids good boundaries. Let your kids know exactly what you expect of them. Sit down and talk to them about these boundaries. Help the kids understand that the household rules are for their benefit.

When kids understand the reason behind rules they are much more likely to abide by them. With my kids I write down consequences and they are stuck up in the kitchen in a prominent place. The kids and I have talked about certain consequences such as withdrawal of privileges like play station and desserts for three days if they are caught using bad language.

This really helps kids. The idea here is that if the kids choose to do something such as using bad language, they automatically know that they have chosen that consequence to go with it because they come hand in hand. And because we have discussed and agreed upon all consequences the kids are less likely to argue about it.

Don’t change the household rules without first notifying the kids. Remember, you are not trying to trick your kids but help them to do the right thing. Family meetings are a great way to communicate. You can sit around the table on a certain night each week and discuss how you think the household rules are working and take suggestions from everyone. Kids will feel valued as you are listening to their opinion, even if you don’t agree with them. If you listen to them they will feel loved and appreciated.

Make sure you look after yourself. I know this is a hard one: I am single mum to four children. But I have learned over the years that it doesn’t pay to neglect yourself. I have figured out that if I am happy the kids end up benefiting also. At least once a month I make sure that I go on an outing with one or more friends, so that I get that social interaction. Yes, it is often hard foe me to orgainse to get away. But I recognise the importance of doing this simple thing so I do it religiously.

All I do is go out dancing with some friends. It doesn’t cost me much money but it is something I love to do for recreation. And I do feel more relaxed when I have been out and ready to tackle my parenting head on again afterwards.

Lastly, stick to your boundaries. Don’t give in. Children love to push the boundaries but they also want to know that you won’t waver. They actually feel more secure when they know that there are limits. Don’t expect your child to always like you when you are enforcing the boundaries but long term they will always thank you.

Kim Patrick is a single mother with four children, living on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is author of the book, “Get Your Child To Behave In 30 Days Or Less”. Her web site is:
http://www.parentwithpassion.com

It can be a battle to get kids to do chores at the best of times. I have a daily list of chores for my kids to do. The technique that I use is letting my kids choose from a list what they would like to do to contribute. I never use the word jobs, or chores. I always say responsibilities. This gives them the impression that it is a requirement, not just an optional extra.

When I need stuff to be done around the house I usually write a list and call the kids to the kitchen table. I show them the list and tell them to write down their name beside a responsibility they would like to do. Now I have four kids I don’t know if that makes it easier or harder for this technique. Some would say easier but there are more kids to argue with one another.

Often there are ten or twelve responsibilities on the list and each child is only allowed to write their name down once, until they have completed that particular task. This saves one child from writing down and grabbing all their favourite chores at once while others miss out. When the child has finished one thing, they get me to check that they have done it correctly, then they can tick off their task as being completed and go on to the next task.

This seems to work well for me as the kids love to be the ones to choose what to do. Sometimes, even after they have chosen something, they end up trading tasks with a sibling if they think that they chose the wrong thing. It’s quite funny to watch them sometimes. When you give them some control over what they can and can’t do, they tend to be happier to oblige.

There are times when I need to ask more of my kids. When we have a complete house tidy and spring clean, I always give my kids plenty of warning. I believe this is a great secret. Always let your kids know well in advance what is expected of them. Imagine if your child had arranged to play with his friend one day, and all of a sudden you said to him, OK, you are cleaning for three hours this afternoon. You would not get a positive response from that child. But if you told him a week prior things might be different.

So I prime my kids well in advance for big tasks. I will usually tell them a few days in advance to put aside a certain day to be extra helpful. I will give them some indication of what needs to be done, and I will also tell them that they will have choices as usual. I will remind them again the day before, and again that morning. When you give kids this common courtesy they will not only appreciate it but will be more cooperative for you.

These are just little things but they have had a huge impact on my children. If you find something that works, keep on doing it.

Kim Patrick is a single mother with four children, living on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, Australia. She is author of the book, “Get Your Child To Behave In 30 Days Or Less”. Her web site is:
http://www.parentwithpassion.com

Once you have decided on the advantages of hosting an au pair in your home, there are a number of things your family can do to prepare for the visit.

Decorate the Room

You will be providing a private bedroom for your guest. The bedroom must be adequately furnished with items such as a bed and a dresser. Extra amenities like a television or telephone are not required but can help your guest feel more at ease.

The furnishings should be in good condition. They don’t have to be new but should be something above flea market rejects. Give the room a good cleaning and make it comfortable and inviting.

Decor doesn’t have to be anything elaborate but a few items reflective of the au pair’s culture can be a nice gesture. Don’t worry about getting the details right; it’s the thought that counts. Try to learn as much as you can about your guest to prepare the room with decorations and comforts that will make her feel right at home.

Study the Culture

The whole family should make an effort to learn about your au pair’s country before arrival. An outing to the library gives access to a wealth of information on your visitor’s culture and traditions. Keep an eye out for documentaries on television and find information on the web.

That doesn’t mean turning it into homework. Everyone should find fun ways to learn. Encourage your children to make craft projects inspired by your visitor’s home country. Rent movies. Eat at restaurants that serve food from that part of the world.

Prepare Your Family

Talk to your children about the guest coming to stay with you. Your children will take their lead from you so talk about this person as you would a visiting relative. Don’t say “the au pair”; use his or her name. Explain that this visitor is coming to see America and will be staying in your home.

As the family engages in activities, imagine having another person around. We all get comfortable in our patterns and it can be disruptive to have them changed. Acclimating your family to things ahead of time will make the transition easier for everyone.

Think about local activities and cultural events that you can expose your new guest to. Make note of local festivals or events that would expose your guest to American culture. Local culture can be anything from a wine tasting to a 4th of July picnic to a tractor pull.

Everyone in the family should plan to spend time with the au pair to help the transition to American life. With everyone working together, your guest will soon be like one of the family and everyone will have a culturally enriching experience.

Author is a freelance copywriter. For more information on Au Pair, visit http://www.euraupair.com.

According to World Book Dictionary,”character” means the qualities that make a person what he is. Character applies to the moral qualities that determine the way of a person thinks, feels and acts in the important matters of life, especially in relation to the principles of right and wrong. Character is very important in children. It just likes a compass to guide them in the choice of their action. Therefore, a lot of parents would like to impart character or value on children e.g. attentiveness, truthfulness patience and so on. Parents can impart good character and value to children by the following way:

They can impart good character and value to children by the following ways:

1) Role modelling

You are the important role model for your children. Your child will like to copy your action, behaviour and character. You are his or her first teacher. We need to be more aware of our attitude and behaviour in order to set good example for our children.

2) Praising good character

What is the difference between praising achievement and character? For example, a child scores 98 marks over 100. His mother says ,”Excellence. Well done” by praising his achievement. The child may feel insecure if he cannot get good marks next time. Instead of praising academic achievement, mother can praise his diligence in revising his homework and attentiveness during the class. By praising good character, it guides the child to develop his potential, reinforce his good character and improve self-esteem.

3) Telling story

Children love to listen to story. You can impart value to the children by telling them a story. Then, you can ask the children

a)What do you learn from the story?
b)If you are the character, will you do differently?
C)Do you find the character demonstrate good values e.g. patience and tolerance?

Get the children to talk about their thinking and feeling. It is an effective way to cultivate good character in the children.

4) Newspaper /Magazine Cutting

Some parents will do newspaper or magazine cutting together with their children. They will identify some good character of the people and paste it in a scrap book. Then, they can discuss and talk about their choice of articles. For example, one of the parents cut the newspaper articles about Mother Teresa to teach the child about love and compassion. This is an useful way to impart value to children.

In conclusion, children will learn good character from their parents. Parents’ action and attitude have a tremendous impact on their children. In addition, parents may impart good character on their children through praising good character, telling stories and newspaper cutting.

Disclaimers: The author shares this article based on her personal and work experience and disclaims any responsibility for any liability, losses or damages and /or application of any of contents of this article.

Ms Mak Wai Chong, a mother of 3 children, is a freelance trainer and counsellor. She has worked as social worker and counsellor for 17 years. Visit her website at http://www.WiseParents.net for prenatal training and parenting information and FREE newsletters.