In order to be confident with women you need to understand your own psychology and thinking pattern. You see it’s basically your mindset which determines how confident you would be when approaching a woman and your eventual results would depend on the level of your confidence as well. Read on to discover some of the amazingly effective ways to help you develop a strong sense of confidence to approach women and achieve earth shattering results.

To overcome your fear with women, practice the following exercise:

1. Choose a club and go out alone. If you want to take someone with you, take one friend who’s willing to learn and won’t hold you back. If he does, don’t take him the next time you go. If you have to go alone, go alone. I did it many times. It’s no biggie. Without company, you’re forced to talk to people, and you will approach women. Even if you don’t approach anyone the first night, you will have enough remorse to do it the next time you go out.

2. Take a deep breath, try to loosen up as much as you can, and go up to a random girl. She doesn’t have to be the hottest one; your average girl will do for now. If she’s with a group, approach her directly. If she’s with two or three girls, talk to all of them at the same time. But whomever you approach, DON’T HESITATE. This is the most important part. The more you hesitate, the less likely you are to approach a girl. Don’t leave yourself time to think. Count to five and go! Banish negative thoughts from your mind, and forget “What happens if?” questions. Nothing happens. Treat the whole club as your playground. No one will laugh at you; no one will hurt you. It’s just some casual talking; no harm done to anyone.

Even if someone says something to you or behind your back, should it really concern you? No. That person doesn’t know you. You are a human being, and you have values and positive traits that aren’t visible in a few minutes of talking to someone. So don’t worry about that, OK? No one is against you, since no one really knows what you’re like. In clubs, everyone is trying to show their best side; still, the most beautiful or most popular people usually have the most shallow and empty personalities. They focus only on the outside and forget that there is a whole different but even more important world on the inside.

3. After you have approached a girl or a group, talk to her/them. Even if you’re hesitant, and your legs are shaking and your heart is pounding, force yourself to smile and tell her something. The best method is to memorize a line, an “opener,” and use that on every girl that night. This way, additional focus and energy won’t be required to think up something to say, and you can concentrate on controlling yourself and your body language. For example, you could use: “Hi! Let me ask you a question. How would you describe your ideal guy? What character traits and inner values should he have?” or “Hi! Do you see that girl over there? I like her, and I want to get to know her. What do you think I should tell her?” You can also make up your own lines.

4. Depending on how the conversation goes, either carry on or leave. Remember, your goal is not to bed her tonight, but don’t stop if that’s about to happen. After executing the opener into the conversation, you’ll understand how easy it is to talk to strangers, and you’ll realize you just took the first steps toward overcoming your “biggest” fear. How does it feel?

5. Don’t stop after talking to a girl or two. Carry on, and talk to as many girls as possible. Eight or 10 are OK; 20 are even better. You don’t have to run around trying your opening out on every girl and yelling “one!” “two!” “three!” Just approach as many of them as you want, remembering that your goal is to get used to the feel of the whole thing. The more you do it, the easier it will seem, and you will eventually realize how normal it is to talk to women.

6. When you go home, congratulate yourself. You took your first steps in the land of pickup. It was a small step for mankind, but a giant leap for you. Repeat this for a few nights until you feel comfortable in your own skin talking to girls. But, when you get into the game and start to enjoy it, don’t forget that the preceding exercise was only for “de-shying” yourself; for showing you how easy it is to talk to a girl. It’s not the way to proceed from now on.

Your next step is to find the girls that you really like and approach only them. Up to this point, it would only have given you an excuse not to approach a woman. But, from now on, it will help you focus on the more important aspect, the pickup itself.

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